Minimal Lifestyle.

Healthy and positive human relations leads to happy, meaningful life.

I think this is what everybody want for themselves or who is important to them. What if I say…

Minimalism betters your communication skill, and improve your relationship with people in your life?

It is true. Household with minimal things have less quarrel, but have more time to get together and enjoy life moments. Let’s imagine… what if you come home from work, and see a big clutter of dirty dishes in kitchen… or laundry pile that is not being put away? Your immediate bodily reaction might be to lend a hand to clean them. However, you stop… because subconsciously, your brain tells you “I am tired from work, not in the mood now” or “He/she must had more time at home, they should do it”. Your original intention was good to wanted to help, it was a kindness toward others who share a space. But why do we stop?… and betray our natural instinct to act upon our goodness?

It might be due to chore itself seems like requiring enormous effort due to there are so many things to be put away. If it is just few cups, some forks… you might just as easily moved them with out even thinking. Before we know, we start to stop doing anything for others when there are overwhelming amount of objects that needed to be tidied.

We all have limited amount of energy and time. When amount of tasks (Created from objects requiring actions from you) surplus our capacity, we start to:

• Blaming others for who can not “help” and “corporate”.
• Keep justifying your reason for not able to get on to shared chores.
• Due to holding these negative emotions toward others, not able to fully appreciate each other when sharing valuable times together.
• Doubting others and yourself… even your relationship.

My partner says that…

It is so romantic to have nothing in house. To be honest, I enjoyed our time more.

(When we moved in to new place)

I felt the same way. We were talking more, going outside to enjoy walks… and be creative together to solve little problems with limited amount of things. I love our dinner, morning meal, or as simple as making tea or coffee together, as there are no clutter on kitchen bench and it is easy to be tidied afterward. It is all because we carefully selected what things we keep, what we do not need.

People naturally become more considerate toward others when there is not choice but to face each other. With no distraction from things around… we appreciate more with food, tools, items and share with people we live with. I’d imagine some guests who i invite to my home may feel bit tense at first. They will realise I do not have any activities we can do together…such as watching TV (No TV), board game, video games, and more. The only choice of what we can do is… I make tea or coffee for them… They have them, I drink too… maybe with little snacks… siting across each other and start talking. Actually, this is what it’s all about with Japanese tea culture:

茶道、茶の心　(Sa-dou, cha no kokoro)

Spirit of tea… one serve tea, one receive and appreciate. Open your heart and admire your company.

It is simple as that. With less things, we are more likely to pay close to 100% of the person you are with, in that moment.

It means… in minimalist households:

• Chores becomes easier, it can even turn into rewarding rituals to reset your mind. ✨😌
• Seeing others in your life tidy up and feeling satisfied creates admiration, you appreciate other’s effort more. 😍
• Raise higher self-esteem collectively. Tidying with pleasure is beautiful. Dare I say… sexy!
• With less things needed to be put away… you have more time⏳ to get on to things that matters to you… for example, more family game nights, movie time, invite your few friends for catchup… rewind, relax together with family members, spend time with your children, partner in the end of days…
• Have more free mental space. 🧠 Comunication becomes positive without being drowned with “noises” in your brain and being restless due to feeling obligated to deal with things. You sigh, frown less from worrying about more tasks to come.

What if I want to be minimal, but my partner (or family, others) don’t support that?

Living in a space with enormous amounts of things creates tension and stress. It is not only with household, but the same with workplace, shared communal spaces too. Maybe you already talk about the benefit of typing up, letting go with things with people who you share your space with. And maybe they agree! But, you are frustrated that the actions always gets postponed.

The first and foremost rule of minimalising space with others is…

Show initiative! 🏃 By only deal with your personal things, not other’s belongings.

Going Minimal involves series of mental process, facing and asking yourself critical questions… It takes time and commitment. What if you were rushed by someone who already seems like reached to the end goal? They condescendingly tell you… “I have never ever seen you wear this shirt! You don’t need it! You must throw it away!” You had no chance to process your own inner thoughts… maybe this shirt was once your best shirt makes you confident! Or you hoped to be able to wear it once you lose weight, be better figure… and so on. It will create tension, guilt, or even hatred. Once I threw away an outdoor hiking pants that I borrowed from my mother. In my head, I was thinking she has so many of them, and not being going hiking very frequently. I have been having that pair of pants for long time, so I felt that it was up to me to decide. She was furious. She said, “That one was the best fitting one for me, and I was trying to make time to go out more. It was so hard to find a good one like that pair!” Since then I became extra careful of other’ belongings and personal space. For example, at workplace… I do not like seeing unused thing being placed in share space for long time. What I will do is only tidy them, but not get rid of them before I consulted with every team member.

The point is, the scale of “what matters and functional” is various according to people. Everyone takes different pace to letting go of things, and can only work if they are seeing the visual, tangible benefit. It is hard to imagine the positive difference when they feel “ I don’t see the point, I wont die!” “ I function fine, and I am not depressed or anything. Why put that pressure on me?”

If you are the one started to see the light of the tunnel, and want to reach that goal with your important someone… my suggestion is that you be that live exsample of success for others. It is not unfair or a burden for you. Because… well, you are only dealing YOUR THINGS. (Not shared things)

When an individual go through getting rid of excessive things in their life… they are glowing with happiness and feeling of fulfilment. This is because they are discovering what makes them truely happy. It is very noticeable for others. Your facial expression, your body language, and energy omitted from you cause positive chain reaction. You may even feel the world becomes the better place!

Minimalist people they communicate with their world well, because they:

• Truly know the value of time and space.
• Embrasive of others. Do not judge and be condescending.
• Recognise others as individuals that who have needs, hopes, struggles, personalities and strengths.
• Have consistent interpersonal attitude. Showing same level of respect for everyone. (This demand mutual respect)
• Are Confident yet humble when communicate with others.
• Are On point and effective communicator, who gets the result they wanted.

If you ever feel lonely for the effort of decluttering for share life with others… Think about this. The others in your life have their own strengths. Your partner attracted you with certain qualities for you to be together in the first place. Your family members… coworkers… contributes immensely in many ways, just like you do. It might just that we got used to it, and forgot about it in the heat of moment of frustration sometimes. Minimalism is set of skills. Without expecting rewards, recognition… let’s first learn and apply the skills. They will see it, feel it, and believe it. Action is always far more convincing than words!

I will see you later! 🦋